Investigations reveal: Donald Trump was right

Latest UNFCC report uncovers massive disinformation campaign by Chinese ministry of Foreign Affairs

Paris (bpo) – Confusion on the streets of Le Bourget. More than 40 000 delegates and negotiators had come together last week for the Conference of Partners (COP21) to discuss a binding agreement on climate change mitigation and adaptation. However, as the latest report of the United Nations Framework on Climate Change (UNFCC), these steps are now obsolete. The report presented overwhelming evidence that the phenomenon of climate change and related scientific theories are unfounded lies propagated by the Chinese Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

With the aim of weakening its strongest economic opponent, the United States of America, Chinese minister of Foreign Affairs Huang Hua had lined out a massive public disinformation campaign already in the late 1970s. Through the cooperation of communist and radical eco-fascist allies, China´s secret service maintained the program until today. The report also unveiled the astonishing financial effort involved: Over a long period of time China corrupted around 97% of all natural scientists to denounce critics of its theory of “climate change”. Under the codename “Global Warming”, the Chinese secret service conducted the probably biggest operation in its history, flooding the oceans with billions of liters of artificial water. Moreover, numerous fog generators were installed in all big Chinese cities to create the impression of an unbearable pollution catastrophe.

“This is an attack on our national integrity. I am shocked” commented American president Barack Obama. In an emergency meeting the White House decided to reimburse its domestic fossil fuel industry for the reputation damages it incurred. Image losses for Barack Obama and his democratic party, however, seem to be inevitable. Republican Presidential candidate and billionaire Donald Trump, who had repeatedly uttered suspicions towards the credibility of climate change theory and a possible involvement of the Chinese government, received record-high poll results. “I knew it” he announced in a short-dated press conference on Monday evening and demanded the resignation of President Barack Obama. He was quoted “This guy can´t even negotiate his way out of a paper bag”.

Chinese officials have not yet responded to the accusations. State-owned news agency Xinhua remained likewise silent. International observes interpret this as an indirect capitulation.

Other international voices raised geopolitical concerns. UN general secretary Ban Ki-Moon expressed his hope that these recent disclosures do not lead to armed conflicts: “The people of the earth are angry and relieved at the same time. We all want peace in these days.” German chancellor Angela Merkel announced another “Energiewende” (energy transformation) and proclaimed that “Germany will produce 100% of its energy from efficient coal power plants by 2025”.

For the UN climate summit in Paris these recent events most probably constitute a full stop of the negotiations. But activists, negotiators and the civil society reacted equally relieved – “now I can enjoy my days, finally drink some coke and fly as much as I want without feeling bad” explained a former tree-hugging hippie on BBC.com. Other individuals could not be interviewed as they were eating meat for the first time in their long vegetarian careers.

-Elias

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