Rap negotiations in COP21

Francois Hollande (France) vs Nozipho Mxakato-Diseko (South Africa)

“On the issue of money”

FH:
Let’s begin this battle now by saying the truth,
I’ve been involved in politics since my early youth
I’m a world leader dude, have you seen the Eiffel Tower?
By the time we are done you’ll be feeling my power!

Now we all know that climate change will run its course,
and financial commitments are something we endorse.
So what’s the big deal? We’ve got 100 billion/year
the money’s flowing in, you’ve got nothing to fear!

NMD:
The reports on your finance come from sources near you!
There is no 100 billion, do not make me a fool!
You’re creating illusions, this is all a mirage,
so go get more funding from your whole entourage!

Don’t speak about power, all you have is baguettes.
We need someone to pay up those climate debts!
I want a UN committee to check the real finance,
and then let’s see if any job is really done by France!

I represent G-7-7, that’s a strong coalition,
and Frank, I’m telling ya, we have some ambition!
Don’t give us plain bullshit, just come and commit
climate change needs financing, you gotta admit!

FH:
Everything is going fine! Don’t worry at all.
OECD even said so- ain’t that a wake-up call?
I pledge to 4 billion until 2020
you’ll get a lot of it! Isn’t that plenty?

NMD:
With your money-lending we won’t get anywhere,
look at the German grants, they are fair!
Let’s reach an agreement that will make us all happy,
don’t be a douchebag, let us not be crappy!

 

-B

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